I will admit I’m not the most active Facebook participant. My posts tend to be about my pets, my nephew, or a trip I’m taking, and they often come months apart. Pretty much the only thing I do religiously is check the weekly birthdays so that I can give my friends and family a shout out. I also recently realized I have quite a few folks on my friend list that I don’t actually know, as well as about 30 friend requests that I haven’t looked at yet. All in all, I’m a pretty terrible Facebooker. So I was intrigued to receive the below blog post from Healing Lifestyles & Spas about spring cleaning your Facebook files, it gave me some food for thought. Check out this post by Laurel House of QuickieChick, and ask yourself, is it time to evaluate your Facebook account?
Social Spring Cleaning – Not Your Home, Not Your Body But People
This spring, cleaning starts with the birds and the bees (you can get to your outdated jeans later). It’s time to clear out old flames and residual baggage too! Out with the old and in with the new, this can be incredibly exciting. Spring-cleaning just got more interesting, more enjoyable and a lot sexier.
Think about who in your life have you been holding onto for really no reason at all? And we are not talking about alienating anyone, this is about getting rid of toxic relationships ONLY.
-Who doesn’t serve you at all anymore but needs to be served?
-Who is more of a burden than a friend/boyfriend?
-Who transformed from being a crush to just a crutch?
-Who makes you feel used?
-Who is just a booty call to you (or you are to them)?
-Think about… is being a booty call serving me? Is it hurting me?
A great place to start? Your dating strategy. If you find that you are only attracting “just ok” guys at your favorite singles places, and even on your favorite online dating websites- change them! Try a new dating site. I like Checkhimout.com because it’s the new forward thinking style of dating where women are in the driver’s seat (no more being hit on by gross guys who don’t get the hint). You deserve better than that. If you’re really ready to take charge of your love life and find your Mr. Right, then grab the reins and do it!
SPRING CLEAN YOUR NOT-SO-GOOD FRIENDS
If you have friends who consistently don’t support you, make you feel bad about yourself, leave you drained, make you feel like you’re a burden, “use” you… it’s time to purge them. YES, people can be pollutants too - personal pollutants! Even family, “forever” friends from your childhood, and new friends who you have a shared connection with can actually be toxic. Like the mold in the corners of your shower, ignoring the problem and allowing it to persist unchanged is not going to make it go away. In fact, it will only allow it to fester, get worse, and possibly even make you sick. As nerve-wracking as it may be, it’s time to make the necessary shift in your relationship. So what do you do? Look at the people who you choose to surround yourself with, and the people you feel you “have” to surround yourself with- for whatever the reason. Now ask yourself:
-How does each person “serve” you or how do you ‘serve’ one another?
-What do they provide for you and vice versa?
-Is it a two-way, mutually beneficial, uplifting, encouraging, enlightening, or comforting relationship?
-Or do you feel drained, exhausted, angry, sad, insecure, unimportant, uninteresting, or annoyed after hanging out with them?
It’s those people- the energy suckers, the Debbie downers, the ego-deflators, the de-motivators, the people who pull you back or hold you down who serve no healthy purpose in your life that you simply don’t need any more.
You Know Who Needs to Go… Now What?
-Have a Heart to Heart- If you think that the relationship has the potential of being fixed, or at least improved enough so that it makes sense for you, it’s time to have a heart to heart. This is not an opportunity to place blame, point fingers, or get nasty. That’s why it’s called a “heart to heart.” Be honest.
-Back Off- It may seem like sort of a copout way to go, but simply backing off of the relationship, without addressing it, could be your best, non-confrontational out. Stop returning calls as swiftly, stop being so available for plans, stop making the time for elongated chats.
-Break Up- Some relationships, like romantic relationships, long-time friendships, and sometimes family members require you to actually have the dreaded “break-up” conversation. Don’t be mean. Just be honest and fair.